BECOME A CARDS2ART AFFILIATE!

Become a

Cards2Art Affiliate!

Great for Scouts, Churches, Classroom Projects, Families, Greek Life, Groups, and anyone interested in giving back and growing from the experience!

Due to an overwhelming response to our Cards2Art Project benefiting child-advocacy and family-strengthening charities, we are asking YOUR FAMILY OR GROUP to join the initiative!

By making a minimal investment of time and dollars (depnding on the amount of products you wish to produce), you can introduce community-responsibility to your circle of family, friends, associates and/or colleagues while changing outcomes of children and families.  Purchase items at local retailers (outlined below) and make big changes in the lives of disadvantaged children facing adversity similar to our own [foster] children’s story.

HOW YOU CAN HELP

1. RECRUIT.  Invite others to join the cause or assist in your project.  Share the story of the Cards2Art Project to inspire others to become agents of change.

2.    GATHER SUPPLIES.  Purchase supplies to begin your project.  You may consider using

the following retailers:

                  5x7 FRAMES:  $1.00 each (Click here)

                              (case of 24 frames available online for store pick-up)

                  POSTAGE:  $14.95 (Click here)

                              (Large FLAT RATE box from USPS)

                  CHRISTMAS CARDS:  Donations from supporters $0.00

                  CRAFT SUPPLIES (glue, scissors):  $0.25 each

     

2. ENGAGE.  Get together with your family and other participants to work on collages.  Cut out various images from cards, including the personal inside message.  (Please do not use licensed images, like Disney or Pixar.)  Paste collage pieces on a 5x7 background and frame.  Use this time to talk about the missions of the receiving agencies and reflect on your own personal blessings.  Websites for the (5) agencies are:

AIDS Resource Group, Inc.

The Villages

Habitat for Humanity

CASA

Goodwill Family Center

3. SEND.  Use the Large Flat Rate Box (or other, if cheaper) to send the completed collages.  Address will be provided when confirmed as a registered Affiliate.

For your participation as an affiliate, your family/organization will be featured in an insert with each product you produce (optional).  You may produce one piece, 24 (as outlined above) or 1,000.  The amount of investment is completely up to you.

Thank you for helping us with this endeavor!  We can make BIG changes in lives of our children, even from the dining room table.  All children are OUR children, as they hold the keys to OUR future.

David M. Bothast

davidbothast@gmail.com

Email me to become a registered affiliate or request more information.  Affiliates receive press release documents, promotional materials, and strategies to recruit volunteers.  You will also receive information to learn more about each receiving charitable agency and their respective missions.

Give Thanks Each Day.

Giving Thanks Each Day

Now that the weather is changing and spring is on the horizon, we give thanks for the transitioning of the seasons.  The cold winter chills remain in recent memory (monthly energy bills provide a tangible reminder), making our appreciation for the warmer season increase.  Every day is filled with blessings for which we should be grateful, but do we take the time to reflect and give proper attention and thanksgiving?

Each night at dinner, we gather around and recount our experiences of the day.  Both children and parents are expected to cite (2) examples of things occurring this day for which we are grateful.  Generic responses like “It was a beautiful day” or “I really like this meal” are not acceptable.  Everyone must identify a unique thing they did, experience or observe and give thanks.

This is a great tool to open dialogue and conversation with your children about their day.  So many times issues have come up that otherwise may have been overlooked. We, as parents, also get a greater understanding of the things our children find interesting and use these tools to enrich their lives with meaningful and relative experiences.  This also helps with our children’s (reading) comprehension.  They know they will be asked for examples each night and, therefore, pay more attention during their day.

Try it out.  It’s not a difficult task.  Be an active member of the communication, just not a facilitator. Your children, believe it or not, are just as interested in your day as you are theirs. 

Change Outcomes.

Cards2Art: Charity Begins At Home

Cards2Art Recycling Project

Christmas is a special holiday for families throughout the world.  As Christians, we celebrate the birth of our Messiah and reflect on the story of the Immaculate Conception.  God entrusted Mary & Joseph with His human form, Jesus Christ.  Through faith, the family accepted their gift and raised a loving and compassionate child who grew as a man destined to take away the sins of the world.  If Mary & Joseph were not ready, or willing to accept this gift, the fate of mankind would be very different today.

Today, parents may not receive a message from an angel or gifts from Magi, but our children (however we receive them) ARE gifts from God.  Just as God chose Mary & Joseph, He offers us an opportunity change the fate of the world through our children.  We accepted the responsibility, but do we accept accountability? 

Our children were sent to us by God through foster placement.  These (3) beautiful souls needed a loving family to nurture them and guide them in life.  Through active parenting and faith (not only in the power of God, but in the ourselves though Him), we are making the most of our gifts and taking ownership of the future of our community by forging future advocates and agents of change in our young children.

In preparation for the 2011 Christmas season, our family has created a project allowing us to spend time together identifying needs of our community and contemporaries, while reflecting on our personal blessings by giving back and “paying (blessings) forward.”  The Cards2Art Project was created to demonstrate how easy it is to make a big impact in lives of others and inspire our children to create change in the world.

RESERVE YOUR CARDS2ART PIECE TODAY and support (5) charitable agencies specializing in foster care, adoption, HIV/AIDS, homelessness, and permanent housing for disadvantaged families with children.  For only $5 (+S&H), you will receive a framed 5x7”custom-crafted Christmas collage made from the over 3,000 donated cards received from all over the world.  By supporting this venture, you are showing your commitment to change and making the most of God’s gifts.

RESERVE YOUR PIECE(S) BEFORE SEPTEMBER 2011.  Billing invoices for payment will be sent out in October for a November delivery.  Christmas is only 312 days away—so act NOW!  Each piece is unique and divided into two categories:  Religious or Secular. 

For more information, please email us directly at:  davidbothast@gmail.com.

To help advance this project, please repost.  We celebrate Christmas every time we look into our children’s eyes.  They are gifts from God, sent to us to change the world.  Thanks for your support!

Change Outcomes.

My 3C Theory: Take It or Leave It

COOPERATION, COMPROMISE & COHABITATION

We teach our children many lessons, but (3) lifelong lessons we inadvertently teach are: 

• How to effectively compromise in a relationship
• How to cooperate with your partner/spouse/roommate, and
• How to tolerate & accept those living with you. 

The outcomes of each subject are contingent on the modeling taking place. 

It’s hard to sometimes let go of our convictions to make peace, but it’s often necessary.  As adults we are instructed to “pick your battles carefully” or “choose only battles you can win.”  We are often told that we should not argue in front of children.  I strongly disagree with the last two misconceptions of effective parenting.

Argue in FRONT of your children.  Argue responsibly.  Argue effectively.  Argue to resolve an issue, not to prove a point or position of power.  Don’t equate “yelling” with “arguing” because the former is unproductive and childish—only demonstrating YOUR loss of control.  Show your children HOW to argue and even how to concede.  These are important skills they will use for a lifetime. 

Demonstrate cooperation in your home.  While one parent washes the dishes, the other is cleaning off the table.  While one is assisting the completion of homework, the other is preparing lunches for the following day.  Talk out your cooperation so your children will identify the collaboration.  “While you XXX, I will XX, so we can XXX together.”  Acknowledge the assistance of your spouse/partner in front of the children and praise them for their help. 

Exposure to these life skills at a young age is very important if you expect your children to master them in adolescence or adulthood.  Remember the first time you ever had a roommate or had to live in communal settings with people very different from you?  How did you deal with the stress?  At work…how do you deal with people much different than yourself? 

What do you think?

Change Outcomes.

The Conviction of Conviction

The Conviction of Conviction

When our children make choices resulting in negative consequences, we institute a relative consequence.  Depending on the severity of the choice, the consequence may extend past a one-day sentence.  Consequences lasting more than one day are very difficult for the parent(s) to maintain and (inevitably) the child will make you question your decision through positive choice making.

DON’T BACK DOWN!  We implement consequences to condition behaviors so our children will learn and grow to independently make good choices.  If we assign a consequence for an action, STICK TO IT.  Children are very MANIPULATIVE and learn very early on how to push buttons to get what they want.  Be careful when assigning prolonged consequences because, if you don’t have the time to manage it, you will lose the impact you are trying to make and the only lesson learned is:  “Mom/Dad is easily manipulated.”  Also, don’t fall into the trap when your child begins to make outrageously GOOD choices immediately following a consequence.  This is NOT because they learned a lesson, but because they are testing your conviction.  Acknowledge the good choice and celebrate it, but they MUST pay RESTITUTION for their prior offenses.

My advice, if you choose to accept it, is to scale consequences to the offense, but don’t make them difficult to manage.  Swift and relative responses are imperative.  If you DO decide to extend a consequence (i.e., grounding), continue this regardless of the other choices being made.  Always remind the children how proud you are of their completing their consequence and for the good choices made, but remain steadfast.

This is very difficult because parents don’t LIKE to give consequences.  I find it terribly hard because I enjoy spending family time with my children doing fun activities.  BUT, the same lifelong, developmental lessons I am teaching while having fun as a family, I am teaching when rendering consequences for actions.  At this critical time of development, I am their parent--not their friend.

Suggestions?  Examples?

Please feel free to share with others you feel may be able to either provide some insight OR benefit from this blog.  Thanks! --David

When Your Children Coups

TITLE UNCERTAIN: 

"House of Cards" OR "ThunderDome"

Chaos in the home may result from a hostile and tense atmosphere.  When you had a bad day at work, your tension can be felt by those around you.  Children are the most empathic and act out as a result.  In households with multiple children, reactions are exponential and magnified.  Children feed off another and compete for attention, even subconsciously.  Your domesticated, four-legged friends (especially dogs) also react to behaviors of their human companions.

Unfortunately, when a child has an “off” day, the whole house suffers.  They have not mastered the craft of concealing their emotions and wear their heart on their sleeves.  They know they don’t feel great, but cannot connect to a specific catalyst, so their behaviors continue to escalate with each compounding consequence.  Siblings react to the actions of their contemporaries and relative attention received by parents.  Before you know it, your once peaceful home becomes THE THUNDERDOME.

We’ve found, the hard way, that our oldest son thrives on the attention received during consequences.  The only real solution we’ve found is to have a very explicit, autocratic standard of behaviors and even more explicit and concrete consequences.  We give him an opportunity to redirect himself, but if he is unable, we implement said consequence and send him off to his room to begin his penance.  After a while, we check in on him and remind him what led him to his current situation and give him the opportunity to reflect and identify alternative choices for future responses to stimuli.  This follow-up period DOES NOT last more than 5 minutes or else we risk feeding into his need for attention.  When our five year old daughter reacts to big brother’s bad day, she (too) is provided the same series of interventions.  The house eventually becomes a peaceful one again, but only after everyone is counseled and usually put to bed earlier than normal. 

The key to effective response when kids start feeding off each other:  Removal.  Take them from the shared milieu to a private area as soon as possible.  Otherwise, you'll be cleaning your fan with a damp sponge very soon.

What do YOU do when things get crazy?  How about if yours is a single-parent home?  How does one parent respond to child coups? 

Please post your suggestions and personal experiences.

David

The Village Concept: Not just a cliche.

As a new parent, I have accepted the reality that my child spends more time with his teacher and classmates than his own family.  The same goes for adults.  We spend more awake-hours with our “work family” than our own.  This is why it is necessary to forge a relationship and open communication with your child’s teacher early on and encourage/solicit feedback and advice from those who see a very different child dynamic than you do at home. 

From Monday-Friday (barring snow days or holidays), my child comes home with an agenda book outlining his behaviors for the day.  He is blessed with a teacher who communicates frequently and knows his story.  She lets me know what kind of day he had, where he is socially & academically, and identifies any potential obstacles he may face and provides potential solutions to said problems.  She is truly an asset to parenting and a part of our family.

As a former school teacher myself, I always appreciated parents taking the time to give me some guidance (or a “heads-up”) about any behaviors their child was exhibiting.  If they made good choices or bad or had a death in the family or a fight with a sibling, I knew about it.  This helped me identify behaviors and link them to the catalyst.  Not knowing why a child acts a certain way can be frustrating and lead to ineffective instruction/modification techniques. 

Good teachers spend a portion of the day reflecting on each child’s behaviors and progress.  They communicate these to parents to address at home.  I think it would be a great idea to provide the same feedback to the teachers charged with caring for our children 8+ hours a day so they are fully-equipped to change lives. 

When your child makes a positive decision, we should document it, acknowledge it and communicate it with the teacher to reinforce the positive behavior—outside the home.  Same goes for negative choices.  If a child realizes they are accountable to not only you, as parents, but to their teacher, they will be more conscious of the decisions they make on a daily basis.  This is especially true during weekends or extended periods away from the school house.

Communication is key to changing outcomes.  As cliché as it may sound, it really does take a village to raise a child.  Hopefully, you are lucky (like us) to have a teacher accepting of feedback.  This relationship with strengthen your family and increase your child’s understanding of choices v. consequences—especially since he/she is held accountable for his/her actions at both sites.

Just a thought…any suggestions or comments?