As a new parent, I have accepted the reality that my child spends more time with his teacher and classmates than his own family. The same goes for adults. We spend more awake-hours with our “work family” than our own. This is why it is necessary to forge a relationship and open communication with your child’s teacher early on and encourage/solicit feedback and advice from those who see a very different child dynamic than you do at home.
From Monday-Friday (barring snow days or holidays), my child comes home with an agenda book outlining his behaviors for the day. He is blessed with a teacher who communicates frequently and knows his story. She lets me know what kind of day he had, where he is socially & academically, and identifies any potential obstacles he may face and provides potential solutions to said problems. She is truly an asset to parenting and a part of our family.
As a former school teacher myself, I always appreciated parents taking the time to give me some guidance (or a “heads-up”) about any behaviors their child was exhibiting. If they made good choices or bad or had a death in the family or a fight with a sibling, I knew about it. This helped me identify behaviors and link them to the catalyst. Not knowing why a child acts a certain way can be frustrating and lead to ineffective instruction/modification techniques.
Good teachers spend a portion of the day reflecting on each child’s behaviors and progress. They communicate these to parents to address at home. I think it would be a great idea to provide the same feedback to the teachers charged with caring for our children 8+ hours a day so they are fully-equipped to change lives.
When your child makes a positive decision, we should document it, acknowledge it and communicate it with the teacher to reinforce the positive behavior—outside the home. Same goes for negative choices. If a child realizes they are accountable to not only you, as parents, but to their teacher, they will be more conscious of the decisions they make on a daily basis. This is especially true during weekends or extended periods away from the school house.
Communication is key to changing outcomes. As cliché as it may sound, it really does take a village to raise a child. Hopefully, you are lucky (like us) to have a teacher accepting of feedback. This relationship with strengthen your family and increase your child’s understanding of choices v. consequences—especially since he/she is held accountable for his/her actions at both sites.
Just a thought…any suggestions or comments?
I am very blessed to also have my son's teacher by very very proactive. She completes behavior tracking on all the students and the use different rewards to encourage positive behavior. My son's teacher communicated very well to his positive and negative behavior and even tries to identify the possible triggers of the behavior. I believe it is essential for all educators need to be proactive. I believe children should be accountable for their actions regardless of the whether they are at school, home, church , or at a friend or families home. Consistency in expectations at all the locations is key to success. Although, sometimes can prove difficult to get every one on task, such as grandparents.
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